So why do people go otd?

So I had some negative feedback about my previous post, and I am taking it to heart. My own experiences with people who went otd were that they had troubling emotional issues that led to questions about religion, but it could be demeaning to imagine that anyone who questions has emotional issues. Indeed, anyone has to question in order to become a true believer. I think most people have had doubts at different point in their lives, just some work things out, and others, not as quickly or never. If someone never questions, but continues to obey by rote, is that person actually religious? Does she have faith? She probably has the greatest chance of really going off one day when she realizes she doesn’t understand a thing.

I personally was raised in sort of a hypocritical environment, because I was sent to Yeshivish schools, but my parents weren’t like that at all. I definitely felt out of place, but I wasn’t the only one. It was an out of townish type of community, and there was only one school, so we all went. For me this ended being a good thing, because my parents definitely raised us to be open-minded, so I was open-minded about being more religious. The teachers we had were not dogmatic, but they were the real deal frum and you could sense their love for it, which spilled into the classroom. Questions got answered, and it moved me in a good direction.

Do you think people go otd for more emotional or logical reasons? Or am I totally missing the boat and is there something else entirely? Truth is, I’m too tired to give this post adequate attention, so I’m going to continue it later….

Why are you having doubts?

So why should you stay frum? I’ll tackle that questions first by looking at it from a different angle – the reasons most people these days go off are more emotional than rational. So if you are looking to get rid of/fight/annoy someone who disappointed you, you are not really against being frum. The popular saying goes “don’t judge Judasim by the Jews.” That’s not quite a fair statement, but at the same time, you shouldn’t judge Judaism by an unfair, unscrupulous or otherwise vile person who abuses you or has abused the tenets of a great religion to make your life miserable. There’s too much good you’d be throwing out with the poison. If you can recognize that your confusion stems from an emotional place, perhaps you can be brave enough to approach another frum person who you trust – a Rebbe or teacher, older friend or anyone else – to help you work out your issues. No one to trust? That’s a sad place to be, and it needs even more courage to find someone to confide in; But it’s worth it, and you’ll have a confident and someone to talk to from here forward so you can rebuild your life and move forward in rebuilding your relationship with Hashem. Heck, feel free to email me and either I can help you anonymously, or I can direct you to someone in your area who would be happy to take you on.

Hello world!

Many of you out there are struggling with what it means to be frum and don’t know why you’re in this. Could be you’ve had questions not answered or have been disappointed with the behavior of someone who is supposedly religious. Whatever the reason, your faith is wavering. So this is a starting point for discussions about why you should stay frum. I recommend staying in, and I’ll use this blog as a springboard for talking about the relevant issues. Feel free to comment or email with your own thoughts and issues you’d like to see addressed. Don’t be shy! Nice to have you on board.